1 00:00:00,638 --> 00:00:03,910 you better have a good reason for getting us out of bed this early, jerk. 2 00:00:03,911 --> 00:00:06,563 I got a goddamn great reason for getting you out of bed. 3 00:00:06,564 --> 00:00:08,583 This bar is hemorrhaging money. 4 00:00:08,584 --> 00:00:11,521 You gotta spend money to make money: Economics 101, dude. 5 00:00:11,522 --> 00:00:13,316 You're bleeding us to death, 6 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,839 especially with that company credit card you got. 7 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,754 That is for business expenses, Frank. Everything on there is a business expense. 8 00:00:19,755 --> 00:00:23,556 Who spent $500 for laser hair removal? 9 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,402 Right over here, slick. Don't want to have hair down there. You know what I'm saying? 10 00:00:26,403 --> 00:00:29,332 Who spent $5,000 for a samurai sword? 11 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:30,632 Your head of security. 12 00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,515 Yeah. Just wait till he saves your life one day with it. 13 00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:34,224 $6,000 on a camcorder. 14 00:00:34,225 --> 00:00:36,292 Well, I decided what I'm going to do is I'm 15 00:00:36,293 --> 00:00:38,376 going to take all those hilarious characters that I've 16 00:00:38,377 --> 00:00:41,085 been creating over the past several years, to put them on tape, 17 00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:42,842 I'm going to put them on YouTube. 18 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,335 That way, I can get discovered by, like, a casting director or 19 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,241 a producer, get some kind of a TV development deal. 20 00:00:47,261 --> 00:00:50,086 Yeah, right. So the point is, Frank, is that these are all business expenses. 21 00:00:50,087 --> 00:00:52,350 I mean, some are definitely more realistic than others. 22 00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:53,900 - Yeah. Not that one. - No, not at all. 23 00:00:53,901 --> 00:00:56,566 But, nonetheless, it was, I believe, bought as a business expense. 24 00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:57,978 They're not business expenses. 25 00:00:57,979 --> 00:01:00,100 What I bought is a business expense. 26 00:01:00,118 --> 00:01:02,941 What I bought is something that's going to save our asses. 27 00:01:02,942 --> 00:01:04,822 Okay. Yeah. All right. 28 00:01:04,823 --> 00:01:07,619 - What did you get? - I bought a billboard. 29 00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:35,238 its always.sunny in philly 403 30 00:01:35,242 --> 00:01:37,683 Synchro : Flolo 31 00:01:39,345 --> 00:01:40,992 Okay, so I'm thinking 32 00:01:40,993 --> 00:01:43,457 we write on the billboard, in nice big letters, "We have 33 00:01:43,458 --> 00:01:45,570 two-for-one drink specials on Thursdays." 34 00:01:45,571 --> 00:01:48,152 And, on the bottom, you have a hilarious picture of Green Man 35 00:01:48,153 --> 00:01:50,811 kicking someone in the nuts. And people will go, "Hey, what's this wacky place? 36 00:01:50,812 --> 00:01:54,483 - Where can I have those drinks?" - It is really astonishing how bad your idea is. 37 00:01:54,484 --> 00:01:56,322 - How is that a bad idea? - Go sit down. 38 00:01:56,323 --> 00:01:58,280 The adults are working. The adults are working. 39 00:01:58,281 --> 00:02:00,041 When we need a child, we'll call you. 40 00:02:00,042 --> 00:02:03,217 Dennis, you and I on the same team. Hot chick up on the billboard. 41 00:02:03,293 --> 00:02:04,842 - Sex sells. Boom. - absolutely. 42 00:02:04,843 --> 00:02:08,068 It's Advertising 101: long legs, taut breasts and tight poopers. 43 00:02:08,069 --> 00:02:10,139 I'm just going to jump in here real quick and point out 44 00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:12,202 that this is the point in the conversation where I would volunteer 45 00:02:12,203 --> 00:02:14,070 to be the girl on the billboard, and then you guys 46 00:02:14,071 --> 00:02:16,041 would talk about how ugly you think I am, and compare me to 47 00:02:16,042 --> 00:02:18,710 - some sort of giant bird. - You look so much like a bird. 48 00:02:18,711 --> 00:02:21,151 - Dennis, I was thinking fish recently. - Really? 49 00:02:21,152 --> 00:02:23,107 Yeah. Her eyes are so far apart, they're like they're on... 50 00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:25,870 Okay, okay, but I don't want to be on your billboard. 51 00:02:25,871 --> 00:02:28,265 I'm not going to ask to be because you wouldn't let me be on it anyway. 52 00:02:28,266 --> 00:02:30,179 No. That's sensible. You don't even have to ask. 53 00:02:30,242 --> 00:02:33,490 There's no way you can be up on that billboard. 54 00:02:33,491 --> 00:02:36,417 - Let me get the point out! The point is... - She's better than you. 55 00:02:36,418 --> 00:02:38,665 I don't want to be on your billboard, and I'll tell you why. 56 00:02:38,666 --> 00:02:40,569 I'm going to take one of my characters and I'm going to 57 00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:43,287 launch a viral video and promote Paddy's myself. 58 00:02:43,345 --> 00:02:46,597 A viral video? There's about a billion of those on YouTube. Who gives a shit? 59 00:02:46,598 --> 00:02:48,581 you think anyone gives a shit about a billboard? 60 00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,326 Wake up, donkeys. 61 00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:53,116 The Internet is where it's at, and I'm going to be an Internet sensation. 62 00:02:53,191 --> 00:02:55,860 You're totally right. If you don't mind, I'm going to come with you. 63 00:02:55,861 --> 00:02:58,651 Maybe I can throw Green Man into a couple of your videos, 64 00:02:58,652 --> 00:03:00,645 you know, and work it out. That'll get a lot of hits. 65 00:03:00,646 --> 00:03:02,908 You can help me out, Charlie, but we're not going to put Green 66 00:03:02,909 --> 00:03:04,655 - Man into anything. - Well, we'll see about that. 67 00:03:04,656 --> 00:03:06,294 - We'll see about that. - Well, we will. 68 00:03:06,295 --> 00:03:08,111 All right. Later, dudes! 69 00:03:08,112 --> 00:03:11,937 "S" you in your "A"s, don't wear "C"s, and "J" all over your "B"s. 70 00:03:12,516 --> 00:03:14,819 Why would he not want a "C"...? 71 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,359 I don't even know what he's talking about half the time, bro, but... 72 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,928 hey, Frank, I'm glad you're here, bro. 73 00:03:18,929 --> 00:03:21,139 - We're talking billboard ideas. - Don't waste your time. 74 00:03:21,140 --> 00:03:23,408 I know what the billboard's going to look like already: 75 00:03:23,409 --> 00:03:28,696 two gorgeous girls up there, giant cans, me in the middle with my thumbs up. 76 00:03:28,697 --> 00:03:31,007 Well, that's just simply not going to happen. 77 00:03:31,008 --> 00:03:32,932 Actually, maybe Frank has a point, dude. 78 00:03:32,933 --> 00:03:35,179 Maybe weshouldput a dude up there, certainly not him. 79 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:38,300 but if we put some hot beefcake up there, maybe it will attract more chicks. 80 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,769 That's a good point. Okay, I like that. Let's slapmypicture up there. 81 00:03:41,770 --> 00:03:44,100 It's about time I got my modeling career off the ground anyway. 82 00:03:44,101 --> 00:03:45,939 Don't flatter yourself. 83 00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:49,052 You're not going to be up there because I'm going to be the face 84 00:03:49,053 --> 00:03:51,191 - of Paddy's Bar. - That's ridiculous, Frank. 85 00:03:51,192 --> 00:03:53,748 You're... ugly. 86 00:03:54,395 --> 00:03:56,325 What? Ugly? 87 00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:57,837 - I'm ugly? - Yeah. 88 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:01,059 With that anteater nose, you're telling meI'mugly. 89 00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:04,502 My nose was chiseled by the gods themselves, Frank. 90 00:04:04,565 --> 00:04:08,352 My body was sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David. 91 00:04:08,826 --> 00:04:10,941 You, on the other hand, well... 92 00:04:11,646 --> 00:04:13,810 you're a pit of despair. 93 00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:16,116 Frank, you disgust me. 94 00:04:16,313 --> 00:04:18,465 You disgust everyone. 95 00:04:18,618 --> 00:04:23,874 And you will never, ever be on that billboard. 96 00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:33,129 Good morning, Philadelphia! 97 00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:36,027 I'm Crazy Paddy, and I'm coming to you from 98 00:04:36,028 --> 00:04:38,297 Paddy's Pub, telling you to come on down. 99 00:04:38,298 --> 00:04:40,745 We're slashing prices so low 100 00:04:40,746 --> 00:04:44,480 you won't need a pot of gold to get sloppy. So come on down to Paddy's. 101 00:04:44,481 --> 00:04:46,887 It's insane! 102 00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:49,096 - What is that? - Did you like that? 103 00:04:49,097 --> 00:04:50,831 No. That's not what YouTube videos are like. 104 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,060 - that's a great character. - No, That's like a bad 105 00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:55,839 late-night commercial you'd see, like, on the cable network or something. 106 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,116 Maybe you didn't get it. I'm crazy 'cause I'm pricing the beer too low. 107 00:04:58,117 --> 00:04:59,948 I think I got it. I think I got it. 108 00:04:59,949 --> 00:05:01,590 The beer's too low for what average beer prices are. 109 00:05:01,591 --> 00:05:03,655 All right, you know what? Let's just do it again, 110 00:05:03,656 --> 00:05:05,537 maybe throw in some more jokes or something, you know? 111 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,525 - Make it funnier. - You're absolutely right. 112 00:05:07,526 --> 00:05:08,994 You can make it funnier. you're a funny girl. 113 00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:10,461 You ready? 114 00:05:10,462 --> 00:05:12,463 Good morning, Philadelphia. 115 00:05:12,464 --> 00:05:14,556 I'm Crazy Paddy. 116 00:05:15,392 --> 00:05:17,224 Oh, my God! 117 00:05:17,225 --> 00:05:18,650 Why...? 118 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,109 Now, that was funny. Dee, that's awesome! 119 00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:23,268 - what do you that? - That's what YouTube video is. 120 00:05:23,269 --> 00:05:24,436 That's funny? 121 00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:26,265 You ever see those girls mashing the grapes, and then 122 00:05:26,266 --> 00:05:28,407 - slips and she's, like...? - Why did you do that, Charlie? 123 00:05:28,408 --> 00:05:30,497 - That's what people want to see. - Oh, my God! 124 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:34,345 People getting injured or seriously hurt-- that's funny! 125 00:05:34,346 --> 00:05:37,169 Okay? Let's just do this. This is... Trust me. 126 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,079 This is what gets hits on YouTube. 127 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,149 - All right. Are you ready? - Yeah. I was ready from... 128 00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,682 Stop talking. 129 00:05:43,936 --> 00:05:45,989 I'm crazy Patty... 130 00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:47,787 Nope. Okay. 131 00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,750 I'm Crazy Patty... 132 00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:51,735 What are you doing? You're lunging every time now. 133 00:05:51,736 --> 00:05:52,928 I'm sorry. 134 00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:55,926 I can't concentrate when I'm about to get blasted in the face with a ball. 135 00:05:55,927 --> 00:05:57,795 I'll blast you all over if you flinch again. 136 00:05:57,796 --> 00:05:59,161 Let's just do this. 137 00:05:59,162 --> 00:06:00,907 Let's just do this. Action! 138 00:06:00,908 --> 00:06:03,108 Goddamn! 139 00:06:03,109 --> 00:06:04,546 - Goddamn! - That is funny. 140 00:06:04,547 --> 00:06:06,929 I don't like it, Charlie. I don't think it's funny. 141 00:06:08,007 --> 00:06:10,282 It doesn't hurt too bad. 142 00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:17,165 Bro, can you believe how many hot chicks showed up for a 143 00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:19,584 casting call for a billboard? How have we not done this before? 144 00:06:19,585 --> 00:06:21,737 Yeah. Yeah, man. Plus, think about it. 145 00:06:21,738 --> 00:06:23,573 Dennis Reynolds, 40 feet tall and shirtless. 146 00:06:23,574 --> 00:06:25,910 - it's going to be so perfect! - Let's go. 147 00:06:25,911 --> 00:06:28,427 - Just take your places over there. - Frank, what are you doing? 148 00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:30,295 - We're looking for models, right? - Yeah. 149 00:06:30,296 --> 00:06:32,042 I went on a stud hunt. 150 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,699 I came back with beefcake. 151 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,851 What are you talking about, Frank? I'm the male model. 152 00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:38,273 Rex? Rex? 153 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:40,016 What are these guys for? We don't need Rex. 154 00:06:40,017 --> 00:06:41,043 Take your shirt off. 155 00:06:41,078 --> 00:06:43,029 Come on, you don't need to take your shirt off. 156 00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,935 well, okay, if you're looking for that... 157 00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:47,517 Now, that, that is what you call a stallion. 158 00:06:47,518 --> 00:06:48,513 That is a stallion. 159 00:06:48,514 --> 00:06:50,825 I didn't know you guys were looking for a stallion. I'm a stallion. 160 00:06:50,826 --> 00:06:54,158 Dennis, you think Frank's got a point here? 161 00:06:54,159 --> 00:06:56,590 I don't think he has a point. I'm a stallion. 162 00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,248 All right, this is messy. 163 00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:05,478 look, buddy, 2003 Dennis, okay, he was Grade-A prime beefcake. 164 00:07:05,479 --> 00:07:07,376 No one is disputing that. He was a stallion. 165 00:07:07,377 --> 00:07:09,689 But 2008 Dennis is in decline. 166 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,276 Take a look at Rex here. 167 00:07:11,277 --> 00:07:13,374 That is a body that just won't quit. 168 00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:16,609 I bet if you pop those pants off, you're gonna find a bird that just won't quit either. 169 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:19,465 And I think that'll come in handy in this situation. 170 00:07:19,466 --> 00:07:21,850 I think the problem here is that your body quit. 171 00:07:21,851 --> 00:07:23,401 Your bird quit. 172 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,684 And unfortunately, it's no longer legit. 173 00:07:25,685 --> 00:07:27,231 What the hell you talking about, my bird? 174 00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:28,896 All right, let's get back to business here. 175 00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:31,290 Attention, ladies, I'm gonna need all the A cups to 176 00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:33,236 please head for the back door. 177 00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:37,666 Charlie, are you ready with the camera? 178 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:40,065 Yeah, I'm trying to set it up. It takes a second, Dee. 179 00:07:40,066 --> 00:07:41,893 All right, who the hell's this character you're doing? 180 00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:43,301 this one? It's a really great one. 181 00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:46,259 Her name's Martina Martinez, and she is a streetwise Puerto Rican 182 00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:49,023 girl who's always quick with a sassy comeback. 183 00:07:49,024 --> 00:07:51,004 - Are you serious? - Yes, it's awesome. 184 00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:52,458 Now let's go over what we're doing again. 185 00:07:52,459 --> 00:07:54,732 I go up, I talk, you come in with the volleyball, you hit him 186 00:07:54,733 --> 00:07:56,444 in the face, and you get out of there. 187 00:07:56,445 --> 00:07:59,143 Okay. I'm gonna hit a random person in the face with a volleyball. 188 00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:01,100 But don't come in too early 'cause I got some material 189 00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:03,551 I want to do and I don't want you to cut me off this time. 190 00:08:03,552 --> 00:08:06,010 Saturday Night Live is gonna, I think they're gonna really love this. 191 00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:09,414 - Do you really think that? - Charlie, Charlie, go, go, go. 192 00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:14,078 I'm horrified that he's even here. 193 00:08:14,079 --> 00:08:16,751 excuse me. Can I talk to you use? 194 00:08:17,305 --> 00:08:18,444 What? 195 00:08:18,445 --> 00:08:20,428 Youse a bunch of white boys, right? 196 00:08:20,468 --> 00:08:22,534 Can I axe you a question? 197 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:25,632 When you be in the clubs and you be dancing, 198 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:27,770 why you look so stupid? 199 00:08:27,771 --> 00:08:29,664 I'm just playin'. 200 00:08:29,665 --> 00:08:31,870 So youse a big man, right? 201 00:08:31,871 --> 00:08:34,063 But you got such tiny boots on. 202 00:08:34,064 --> 00:08:35,982 That means you got a small pecker. 203 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,748 I'm sorry. I'm just playin'. 204 00:08:38,749 --> 00:08:41,053 I'm Martina Martinez. 205 00:08:51,982 --> 00:08:56,523 Okay, attention, ladies, gentlemen, hotties and beefcakes. 206 00:08:56,524 --> 00:08:59,992 You were brought here because you are the most beautiful people in all of Philadelphia. 207 00:08:59,993 --> 00:09:03,916 And as such, the honor has been bestowed upon all of you 208 00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:07,978 to compete in Paddy's first Next Top Billboard Model contest. 209 00:09:07,979 --> 00:09:09,896 - What's the pay? - What?! 210 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,281 What is the pay? 211 00:09:11,282 --> 00:09:14,799 The pay, sir, is getting your face 40 feet up on a billboard. 212 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,350 - So there's no pay then? - I just told you what the pay is. 213 00:09:17,351 --> 00:09:18,919 He told you what the goddamn pay was. 214 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,376 - The billboard thing. - Were you not listening? 215 00:09:20,377 --> 00:09:23,177 - Well, I'm outta here. - Fine. Fine. You leave. 216 00:09:23,224 --> 00:09:25,782 We don't need you people. Everybody else. 217 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,615 Let's take their lack of dedication as a lesson, shall we? 218 00:09:29,808 --> 00:09:32,267 Competitions like this aren't about money. 219 00:09:32,268 --> 00:09:33,828 They're about fame. 220 00:09:33,829 --> 00:09:36,487 They are about putting yourself on display to the world and 221 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:39,709 saying, "I'm good enough because I beat everyone else, 222 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:42,537 - and I got myself up on a billboard." - Not so fast. 223 00:09:44,612 --> 00:09:46,518 What the hell are you doing here? 224 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,559 I want in the competion. 225 00:09:49,329 --> 00:09:51,033 Approach. 226 00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:54,569 Dennis, I told you you don't have the right stuff. 227 00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:57,418 I got the right stuff, Frank. I can win this thing, I know it. 228 00:09:57,419 --> 00:09:59,311 All right, judges' side bar. 229 00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:02,369 Do you want to let him in? 230 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,340 Bro, he's been talking about this modeling thing for years. 231 00:10:04,341 --> 00:10:06,036 If only to shut him up. 232 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,506 - You're in. - Oh, yeah! Yes! Huh? 233 00:10:14,456 --> 00:10:16,315 You... 234 00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:21,513 Okay, the first competion is the underwear competion. 235 00:10:22,036 --> 00:10:23,486 Boom! 236 00:10:29,618 --> 00:10:31,745 How's your face, Dee? 237 00:10:31,746 --> 00:10:33,233 How do you think it is, Charlie? 238 00:10:33,234 --> 00:10:36,024 You kept hitting me over and over in the same spot with a volleyball. 239 00:10:36,025 --> 00:10:38,042 And I was explicitly clear: no more Green Man. 240 00:10:38,043 --> 00:10:40,163 Come on. Green Man's what makes this thing work. 241 00:10:40,164 --> 00:10:42,954 Green Man is not what makes it work, Charlie. 242 00:10:42,996 --> 00:10:44,798 My characters are what make it work. 243 00:10:44,799 --> 00:10:46,581 No more Green Man. And we're not doing it anymore. 244 00:10:46,582 --> 00:10:48,437 All right. Geez, relax. 245 00:10:48,951 --> 00:10:51,496 You're nothing without Green Man. 246 00:10:52,824 --> 00:10:54,090 shit. 247 00:10:54,091 --> 00:10:55,524 Dee, you know what? 248 00:10:55,525 --> 00:10:57,761 This is all like a bad frame and stuff. 249 00:10:57,762 --> 00:10:59,528 This isn't gonna work. We got to do it again. 250 00:10:59,529 --> 00:11:00,412 What? 251 00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:02,998 The camera was too low. We got to... 252 00:11:04,587 --> 00:11:06,738 Hey, diary. It's me. 253 00:11:06,739 --> 00:11:10,365 It's Thursday, September 30th about midnight. 254 00:11:10,614 --> 00:11:14,032 I'm alone, of course, again. 255 00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:16,511 And I just had a little bit too much ice cream. 256 00:11:16,512 --> 00:11:18,015 Interesting. 257 00:11:18,251 --> 00:11:20,366 Okay, Frank, can I talk to you for a second? 258 00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:21,710 What's up? 259 00:11:21,711 --> 00:11:24,380 Bro, originally, my plan was to just bang a bunch of models, right? 260 00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:26,617 Okay, but after talking to a few of them, 261 00:11:26,618 --> 00:11:29,068 I feel like I could find my true love here. 262 00:11:29,264 --> 00:11:31,932 You think you could fall in love with one of these broads? 263 00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:34,428 Yeah, dude, eventually, I got to settle down, right? 264 00:11:34,429 --> 00:11:36,838 Spread my seed. Haven't you ever seen The Bachelor? 265 00:11:36,839 --> 00:11:38,717 Look, you get a whole bunch of them together, you make them 266 00:11:38,718 --> 00:11:40,808 compete over you, bing-bang-boom, soulmate. 267 00:11:40,809 --> 00:11:42,756 that sounds good. 268 00:11:42,757 --> 00:11:47,032 Well, okay, you take the girls, and I'll take Dennis and the dudes. 269 00:11:47,033 --> 00:11:48,539 - Really? - Yeah. 270 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,065 - You'll just give me the girls? - Absolutely. 271 00:11:50,066 --> 00:11:51,883 - I can have my own competition. - Awesome. 272 00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:53,539 I don't understand it, but I don't care. 273 00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,454 - All right, thanks, bud. - All right. See ya. 274 00:11:55,455 --> 00:11:57,473 All right, whatever. Thank you. 275 00:11:57,474 --> 00:12:00,204 All right, where are all my male models? 276 00:12:00,205 --> 00:12:02,007 Come forward. Come forward. 277 00:12:02,008 --> 00:12:05,354 Okay, as you know, in the world of modeling, 278 00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:09,246 you're sometimes asked to model a theme. 279 00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:11,985 Today's theme is barnyard. 280 00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:15,374 Okay, everybody, come on the stage that I have prepared to 281 00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,110 give you a little ambience. 282 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:20,270 Okay, here's a baby pool that you're all going to get into. 283 00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:23,784 And there's a lot of hay and there's some chickens and ducks. 284 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,293 What the hell, bro? Is this supposed to be dirt? It smells like shit. 285 00:12:26,294 --> 00:12:28,998 It is shit. This is a barnyard. 286 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,075 No one is going to step in shit. 287 00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:33,694 Rex, are you kidding me? Seriously, are you just gonna step right in it? 288 00:12:33,695 --> 00:12:36,028 I want to win, bro. Billboard. 289 00:12:40,017 --> 00:12:42,365 Dee, what is this getup? What are you doing now? 290 00:12:42,366 --> 00:12:43,749 What is that? 291 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,011 okay. This is Taiwan Tammy. 292 00:12:46,012 --> 00:12:49,952 She on runway and do a drag queen in nails. 293 00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:51,557 thank you! 294 00:12:51,558 --> 00:12:54,398 Are you kidding me? That is extremely racist. 295 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,293 Isn't it awesome? I'm so excited about this one. 296 00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:58,738 All right, well, good luck to you on that. 297 00:12:58,739 --> 00:13:00,790 Why are you hands in your pockets? 298 00:13:00,791 --> 00:13:02,436 They're itchy. 299 00:13:02,437 --> 00:13:03,999 - Your hands are itchy? - My hands are a little itchy. 300 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,819 Your hands are in your pockets 'cause they're itchy? 301 00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:08,715 Goddamn it! I knew it! Charlie, what are you doing? 302 00:13:08,716 --> 00:13:10,860 - I said no Green Man! - Green Man sells this whole thing. 303 00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:13,565 It doesn't make any sense! Goddamn it, Charlie! 304 00:13:13,566 --> 00:13:15,675 - Hey, I know you. - What? 305 00:13:15,676 --> 00:13:19,782 Yeah, you that, that girl, PatheticGirl43. 306 00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,023 PatheticGirl? 307 00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:22,926 I almost didn't recognize you in that getup, but I recognize 308 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,711 that whiny voice anywhere. 309 00:13:24,712 --> 00:13:28,064 Hey, you mind if we get a picture together? 310 00:13:28,065 --> 00:13:30,574 Yeah, let's get a picture. I can't believe you recognized us. 311 00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:32,466 You saw the YouTube thing, right? 312 00:13:32,467 --> 00:13:34,023 Charlie, what is going on? 313 00:13:34,024 --> 00:13:35,758 I'll show you later. 314 00:13:36,915 --> 00:13:41,999 In other news, it seems like I have a rash in a place where 315 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,991 a sexually active person should have a rash. 316 00:13:43,992 --> 00:13:45,706 Green Man! 317 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,416 Oh, my God, you put that on YouTube? 318 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,197 - Oh, my God, I totally did. - Charlie, why would you do that to me? 319 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,986 - Because that's great stuff. - That was my private video diary. 320 00:13:54,987 --> 00:13:56,969 - 80,000 hits. - 80,000? 321 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,519 80,000 hits, Dee. That's huge! 322 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,386 - Big numbers. - Yeah, come on. 323 00:14:01,387 --> 00:14:03,077 Don't take this to heart. Don't take this the wrong way. 324 00:14:03,078 --> 00:14:04,774 Hey, look, you got recognized on the street today. 325 00:14:04,775 --> 00:14:06,560 - That happened. - So did I. 326 00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:08,014 - Well, it was me first. - But the point 327 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:11,082 is that's the first step to becoming hugely famous... 328 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,369 - Pretty awesome. - is people noticing you on the Internet 329 00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:16,081 - 80,00 hits. - That's a lot of hits, Charlie. 330 00:14:16,082 --> 00:14:17,541 You know what it's like for Chocolate Rain 331 00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:19,344 - when he goes around in the world? - He gets free food. 332 00:14:19,345 --> 00:14:21,977 He gets free everything because people love that guy. 333 00:14:21,978 --> 00:14:25,371 Charlie, fire up that video camera. 334 00:14:25,372 --> 00:14:26,638 There you go. 335 00:14:28,879 --> 00:14:32,928 Okay, Anya, so they are in fact, double Ds. 336 00:14:32,929 --> 00:14:35,002 That's great news. 337 00:14:35,003 --> 00:14:37,624 Well, you got a great look, no denying that. 338 00:14:37,636 --> 00:14:39,357 Let me ask you a question, though. 339 00:14:39,358 --> 00:14:41,607 Why should I pick you over the other girls? 340 00:14:41,608 --> 00:14:44,968 I'm willing to do anything in order to win. 341 00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,733 You're talking about banging me, right? 342 00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,036 Maybe. 343 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,774 - If you say yes... - Yes. 344 00:14:49,775 --> 00:14:51,304 Okay, great. You said yes. 345 00:14:51,305 --> 00:14:52,767 Okay, Anya said yes. 346 00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,734 That's written down now. That's like a contract. 347 00:14:54,735 --> 00:14:56,703 All right, perfect. Can't go back on it. 348 00:14:56,704 --> 00:14:58,199 All right, well, thank you for coming in. 349 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,494 - Thank you. - Nice talking to you. 350 00:14:59,495 --> 00:15:01,190 - You, too. - You got a great shot. 351 00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:03,169 You got a great ass. 352 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,463 All right. 353 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,152 - Hi. - Hi. Rochelle. 354 00:15:09,153 --> 00:15:10,111 Yes. 355 00:15:10,112 --> 00:15:12,806 Rochelle, Rochelle, Rochelle. Thank you for coming in. 356 00:15:12,807 --> 00:15:15,241 I'm having all the girls come in just to make sure we vibe. 357 00:15:15,242 --> 00:15:16,224 Of course. 358 00:15:16,225 --> 00:15:19,093 What's the difference between you and the rest of the girls? 359 00:15:19,102 --> 00:15:23,025 Well, my heart is in this 100% 360 00:15:23,026 --> 00:15:25,537 and for more than just a billboard. 361 00:15:25,538 --> 00:15:27,429 For more than a billboard? 362 00:15:27,430 --> 00:15:29,334 That's interesting. I haven't heard that yet. 363 00:15:29,335 --> 00:15:30,168 No? 364 00:15:30,169 --> 00:15:32,070 I feel like there's vibing happening right now. 365 00:15:32,071 --> 00:15:33,790 This is the vibing I'm talking about. 366 00:15:33,791 --> 00:15:34,805 Yeah. 367 00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:36,452 I feel like we're completing each other's... 368 00:15:36,453 --> 00:15:37,571 ... sentences. 369 00:15:37,572 --> 00:15:39,405 Yeah, I was gonna say sentences! 370 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,169 - I know. - Oh, my God! 371 00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:43,047 - How did you read my...? - ...mind? 372 00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:46,115 I was gonna say "head," but that's okay, that's all right. 373 00:15:46,116 --> 00:15:47,749 We got, we're one for two. 374 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:50,036 - Okay. - That's okay. 50%. 375 00:15:50,037 --> 00:15:52,380 You and I are gonna get along very well. 376 00:15:56,779 --> 00:16:01,070 Rex, that is a sexy jaguar. 377 00:16:01,071 --> 00:16:05,457 I mean, that jaguar is fierce! 378 00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:08,768 I've never been turned on by a jaguar before. 379 00:16:08,769 --> 00:16:12,857 This has totally changed my mind toward jaguars. 380 00:16:13,642 --> 00:16:17,134 Dennis, your mule is shit. 381 00:16:17,151 --> 00:16:19,893 I'm no longer turned on by mules. 382 00:16:19,894 --> 00:16:21,700 You gave Rex jaguar! 383 00:16:21,701 --> 00:16:23,457 There aren't jaguars in barns. 384 00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:25,010 What the hell am I supposed to do with a mule? 385 00:16:25,011 --> 00:16:26,608 You can't make a mule sexy. 386 00:16:26,609 --> 00:16:29,009 Dennis, you've been out modeled. 387 00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:30,477 I have not been out modeled. 388 00:16:30,478 --> 00:16:32,555 I haven't even begun to work this hot body. 389 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,419 What's the next event? 390 00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:37,186 The clothes-off pose-off. 391 00:16:44,895 --> 00:16:46,801 Jesus Christ, Frank. 392 00:16:46,802 --> 00:16:48,805 I got burns! What are you doing? 393 00:16:48,806 --> 00:16:50,969 Anything can happen on a runway, Dennis. 394 00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:53,881 Nobody's gonna throw detergent in my eyeballs on a runway, Frank! 395 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,638 And you think that was bad. 396 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,023 Check out this tasty delight. 397 00:16:58,024 --> 00:17:00,408 You got to eat cockroaches next. 398 00:17:00,409 --> 00:17:02,449 You know what, man? Screw this. I'm outta here. 399 00:17:03,317 --> 00:17:04,953 Finished. 400 00:17:04,954 --> 00:17:08,002 Jesus, Rex, I didn't tell you to start eating yet. 401 00:17:08,003 --> 00:17:10,178 That doesn't disqualify me, does it? 402 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,393 No, you're good. 403 00:17:13,095 --> 00:17:14,786 hey, diary. 404 00:17:14,787 --> 00:17:17,161 Listen, today was the worst day ever. 405 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:20,677 I had an audition, and I didn't get the part, which is really, really strange for me. 406 00:17:20,678 --> 00:17:23,522 But then the casting director called, and they were, like, 407 00:17:23,523 --> 00:17:25,394 "We thought you were just better for a different part." 408 00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:27,368 And I was, like, "That makes more sense." 409 00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:28,713 - Cut, cut! - What are you doing? That was great. 410 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,861 What are you doing? 411 00:17:29,862 --> 00:17:32,578 Why don't you do it like you did the first time? Dee, this is just weird. 412 00:17:32,579 --> 00:17:33,991 This is what I do. I just talk into the camera about my life. 413 00:17:33,992 --> 00:17:35,393 Are you kidding? You never do this. 414 00:17:35,394 --> 00:17:37,581 You have all these colors on your face, your mouth is going like this. 415 00:17:37,582 --> 00:17:39,691 Don't bust my balls. This is great exposure for me. 416 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,136 - This is stupid, Dee. - Hey, Charlie, you are here. 417 00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:42,734 - what the hell's going on? - I don't know. 418 00:17:42,741 --> 00:17:45,463 - Doesn't she look ridiculous? - Get out of here! What are you doing here? 419 00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:46,881 - He almost didn't recognize you? - Are you guys shooting a porn? 420 00:17:46,882 --> 00:17:48,311 - No, we're not... - Never mind. I don't care. 421 00:17:48,312 --> 00:17:50,152 Listen, we need to get that company credit card from Frank. 422 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,136 - Yeah? What's up? - Dude, I realized something. 423 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,238 I don't need validation anymore. How great is that? 424 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,345 But what I do need is I need the company credit card so that 425 00:17:56,346 --> 00:17:58,537 I can buy myself a billboard, get myself out there and show the 426 00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:01,062 entire world that Dennis Reynolds still has a rocking body 427 00:18:01,063 --> 00:18:02,353 that deserves to be worshipped. 428 00:18:02,354 --> 00:18:03,794 Get out of here! We're in the middle of something. 429 00:18:03,795 --> 00:18:05,291 - No, you get out of here. - Get out! 430 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,586 Help me get the credit card. I need that billboard! 431 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,935 Hang on a second. Okay, look, guys, guys, 432 00:18:09,936 --> 00:18:12,168 there's a way to make you guys both happy, all right? 433 00:18:12,169 --> 00:18:14,171 I got a pretty good plan how to do this. 434 00:18:15,852 --> 00:18:19,048 Hey, everybody, PatheticGirl43 here coming 435 00:18:19,049 --> 00:18:22,034 to you live with Philadelphia's next hot model Dennis Reynolds. 436 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,882 Dennis, tell us what it's like to be so handsome. 437 00:18:24,883 --> 00:18:28,857 Well, I like to think I've been this handsome since birth, possibly even earlier. 438 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,776 Green Man! 439 00:18:36,911 --> 00:18:40,895 This shamrock... will be awarded to the winner as 440 00:18:40,962 --> 00:18:44,791 a symbol of my vote and love for this competion. 441 00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:51,730 Rochelle, you taught me about love, respect, inner beauty. 442 00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:58,889 Dominique, you banged me, like, right away. 443 00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:02,119 I hardly had to do anything. Tabitha, you did the same. 444 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,131 But most importantly, you banged each other. 445 00:19:05,781 --> 00:19:07,859 And you let me watch. 446 00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:09,459 Awesome. 447 00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:14,248 But when I was making this decision, 448 00:19:14,249 --> 00:19:16,221 I thought long and hard and I thought, 449 00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,274 "I have to go with my heart. 450 00:19:18,554 --> 00:19:21,037 I have to go with my heart." 451 00:19:22,224 --> 00:19:25,519 So I'm gonna do something a little unorthodox here. 452 00:19:26,952 --> 00:19:29,804 A top of the morning to both of you! 453 00:19:30,146 --> 00:19:31,363 What? 454 00:19:31,364 --> 00:19:34,019 I had two of them. I had another one here. I tricked you. 455 00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,489 I got both of you guys. 456 00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:38,478 But you just said that I taught you about inner beauty and respect. 457 00:19:38,479 --> 00:19:41,810 Yeah, but this whole thing's about banging, and you didn't bang me, so... 458 00:19:42,023 --> 00:19:43,917 - You're a dick! - I know. 459 00:19:43,918 --> 00:19:46,007 And that's what I learned. 460 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:51,221 Check it out. Check it out! 461 00:19:51,222 --> 00:19:53,962 - What is it? - I'll tell you what it is, bitch. 462 00:19:53,963 --> 00:19:56,495 It's a YouTube video that me, Dee and and Charlie just made 463 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,185 that's gonna get a million hits. So guess what, pal. 464 00:19:59,186 --> 00:20:01,595 Don't need your billboard. I'm going viral. 465 00:20:01,596 --> 00:20:04,640 I'm glad you don't need it because you can't have it because it's already up. 466 00:20:04,641 --> 00:20:05,673 What? 467 00:20:05,674 --> 00:20:08,476 Yeah, I put it up right after you called me ugly. 468 00:20:08,477 --> 00:20:10,254 There's no billboard? 469 00:20:10,255 --> 00:20:13,352 Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Rex. My bad. 470 00:20:13,353 --> 00:20:15,812 So wait. If you already put the billboard up, 471 00:20:15,813 --> 00:20:17,755 what'd you put on it?